Activities

It’s not unusual to have moments of feeling unsensual. Actually, most of us probably feel that way most of the time. That’s mainly due to our misrepresentation of what sensuality is. And it can also be that we truly aren’t involved in what’s going on around us – sensually.

We are incredibly adept in our society at cutting ourselves off. We’re cut off from our emotions. We ignore what we see going on with others around us. We drive everywhere we go and remove ourselves from the environment. We eat out and cease to participate in the sensuality of food. We watch TV instead of reading or talking. We wear our iPods and talk on our cell phones wherever we go so we don’t pay attention to what’s around us.

The movie theatres have created the perfect awkward first date place. Nothing to say? No problem, there’s plenty to distract you. Read the magazine provided in the lobby. Watch the trivia and gossip on the screen. The only chance of interaction is the possibility of touching hands in the popcorn box. But the 2 drink, 2 popcorn combo has even taken care of that.

All of these seemingly innocent things have succeeded in cutting us off from each other and ourselves. How can we get back in touch?

HELPING TO RETURN TO SENSUALITY ACTIVITIES:

Over the next month, choose one of these each week. The challenge will be to continue to do each one more than a day, if you even make a day.

1. Take a walk. Leave your headphones and cell phone behind. This can be in nature or in your neighborhood, it doesn’t matter. Just get out and observe. Who in your community has a dog? Are there a lot of children? Which houses have great curb appeal? Who has a beautiful garden? Where is the mailbox and the bus stop? In the woods, what flowers do you see? Look for berries and bugs. Notice the moss. Listen for water. What do you smell? Can you identify any bird calls?

2. Eat at the table without the TV. Whether you live alone or with others, practice enjoying your food. Take the time to chew. Feel the texture. What spices can you identify? What makes this particular food appealing to you – or not. If you’re with others, enjoy the fine art of dinner conversation.

3. Practice the art of listening. Go out with someone to a quiet restaurant, coffee or tea shop. Or have tea at home. Ask the other person questions. Resist the urge to jump in and give your opinions and advice. See what you can learn about this person – their values and struggles. Ask if you can share what you’ve observed and ask for feedback.

4. Make dinner. Don’t use any prepared foods or mixes. Buy everything fresh. If you have a farmer’s market in your city, use it. Experience the sights, sounds and smells around you. Talk to the vendors and learn about what it takes to be an independent food producer. Ask for their input into your plans. Cut the vegetables and meat yourself. Use fresh herbs if available. Keep it simple if you don’t usually cook, more elaborate if you do. Take your time and experience every step. Eat it with candlelight and flowers, preferably with a friend or loved one.

5. Dress in clothes that make you feel wonderful. Wear colors and fabrics you love. Choose articles that, when you look in the mirror, make you think - I look great! Wear sexy underwear and great shoes. Do your hair and wear fragrance.

6. Make eye contact with people when speaking to them and smile. Make sure to do this in a friendly, not creepy, way. If you make eye contact with a stranger, smile. If someone holds the door open for you or does some other random act of kindness, look them in the eye, smile and say “Thank you”.

7. Draw. Do a craft. Do something creative. Enjoy the process without having an end result in mind.

8. Read. Curl up in your favorite chair with a good book – either a previously loved one or a recommendation from a friend. Lose yourself in the moment and let your imagination roam.

9. Go out with friends and leave your cell phone behind. We used to go out all the time without any form of contact. Experience that freedom again.

10. Put the iPod or other world tune-out device in a drawer and go about your day. See how much you can observe that you may have otherwise missed. Notice smells and colors. What or who have you passed by everyday without a glance? What interesting things have you missed?

11. Spend time with children. Go to a playground. Volunteer with a children’s charity. Spend time with your own kids (or nieces/nephews/grandkids or friend’s kids) and play.

12. People watch. Sit in a park or coffee shop and notice their moods and body language. Make up back stories for the fun of it.

These seemingly simple things will bring the awareness of the world, and thus sensuality, back in your life.