Sexy

I love men. And women, for that matter. All bodies are amazing. When everyone is naked, it's like all judgments disappear. Everyone is equal no matter what their body issues might be. I often wonder how people like doctors, massage therapists and others who get to see people naked all the time can lose the wonder of seeing nakedness.

This post is about sex. FINALLY! some of you are saying. I KNEW that this whole "sensual" thing was just a cover. I KNEW it was really about SEX!

Well, sorry, not quite. Yes, sensuality and sexuality are related. They can't help but be. We are sexual creatures - some of us more than others - and when we are fully expressing ourselves in our sensuality, of course sex is going to come into it.

All parts of our lives come with rules and expectations. From table etiquette to gender roles, we lives by a set of standards that have been handed down generation to generation. Most of the standards/rules we live by are hundreds of years old. Society does change and evolve, but the evolution takes time to pervade the entire culture.

For example, there is a lot of confusion around dating. Who picks up the bill? How do you decide who is going to do it? Do you take turns? Does the one who did the inviting cover it? Is it always the man? Does it mean a woman is a user if she likes the man to pick up the cheque? Do you kiss on the first date? How long before it's OK to sleep together? No wonder we're all so confused!

Sensuality is about releasing those standards. Take an objective look at them and see which ones actually work for you and which ones don't. You may be surprised how much you're doing out of habit, comfort or because you thought you had no choice.

So what on earth does this have to do with sex!? Where else in our lives do we have more rules than around our sexuality? From the fundamentalist no sex before marriage to the discomfort around fetishes to the debate around gay marriage. All you have to so is say the word S-E-X in a room and you will hear gasps, see people holding their breaths or inspire giggles. Things don't change no matter how old and experienced we are.

Mention sex when I'm in the room and you'll get a wide smile and a long conversation. Next to self expression and sensuality, sex is my favorite topic.

This wasn't always the case. I was one of those fundamentalists. My head was all wrapped around guilt when it came to sex. I was so naive that at 18 I didn't know what a blow job was. In grade 12 my friend and I chose a play to do for drama class that was full of double - and single - entendres and peppered with references to phallus. I had no idea that it was a play about sex until my mom freaked out and insisted the school pull the play off the shelves.

I didn't succeed in the no sex before marriage ideal. Everytime I "sinned" I felt incredible guilt, but I just couldn't stop. I tried, I had good intentions, I prayed for strength and forgiveness. I made myself miserable.

Now that I truly understand my nature and am in touch with my sensuality I know why this was such a struggle. It simply is not in my DNA. I LOVE SEX! There are no two ways around it. I am a highly sexual woman who needs it in her life to be fully satisfied.

Not everyone is like this and I'm certainly not suggesting that to be Sensual you must love having sex 3x a day. Being Sensual is knowing what works for YOU. What works for me is sex as much as possible and as often as possible.

When you are fully expressing your Sensuality, you will know what you need. You will come from a place of strenght rather than need. You will be able to articulate what you want clearly. You will radiate a confidence that is irresistably attractive. You may attract attention you don't like and you will know how to deal with it while remaining present and true to who you are.

Sex is natural, sex is good - not everybody does it, but everybody should. Sorry, couldn't help but channel a little George Micheal there! It's time to shed the expectations, standards and crazy rules around sex. Find what works for you. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Accept what works for other people and understand that that is their Sensuality.

When we are all living in our true selves, sex will no longer be an issue. It will be what it is. A really great past time!

Of course, like any sport, Sex has it's risks, so play safe, people!

BE BEAUTIFUL, BE YOU - in all areas of your life.

www.beingsensual.com